emails

EMAIL RECOLLECTIONS

FOR: Prospective adopting parents

RE: Our experience while in Kazakstan via our emails

Click here for our post-adoption experience

Click here for photos from our trip to Kazakstan!

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Hello family,

We are writing from Almaty, the biggest most international city in Kazakstan. We traveled for 24 hours before arriving but weren't too exhausted because of all the cat naps.   We arrived at LAX yesterday only to discover that flights were delayed due to weather in San Fran, as always. Luckily our Chauffeur, Mom got us there in plenty of time to catch an available flight. The flight to Frankfurt was only 10 hours and then the flight to Almaty another six. Both flights were short due to tailwinds: that was nice. We arrived in Almaty at 11 pm after four good meals, films, books and naps. No problems with Lufthanza so far. The first glitch was that we arrived but our luggage didn't. We hope to be reunited in two days.

It's time to rough it. Not really, the hotel is nice and a great shower plus this internet access. We are anxioius today, because we might be able to see Alexander. We are hopeful. We'll let you know more soon.

Keep checking the email, because phone calls from here are TOO expensive [20 bucks for a couple minutes]. As we doozed off last night, we realized that seven people were sleeping at our house and we know that Kaiet is in great hands. Thanks everyone.

Kaiet--your Ama and Aita love you and miss you very much.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Monday, November 17

Incredible!

Nothing could have really prepared us for this--when he walked into the room by himself, and there he stood about as tall as Kaiet and his size. John really fell in love with him and said "I can do this." (Good thing). He's been my son (moi syn) for a while now. We gave his 2 vitamins today and he wanted more. We'll bring some fruit or yogurt tomorrow. He's ready to eat. (I'm counting on him being a good eater.) We played with him for over an hour, and that will be the routine for the next two weeks. He smiled, laughed and went after the toys just like Kaiet. He loves moving parts and went straight for Batman and Robin (you were right Eka). He loved trying on the pirate costume (He kept it). And he took to the video camera immediately pushing buttons and such just like he saw John doing. He has tiny little fingers and I know that he and Kaiet will enjoy building together. Then get this, he put everything away. He's anal-retentive just like his new parents! And everyone says he looks like John.

He looked fine and they told us about his health story which looked good, never sick. We'll of course have him checked out when we come home. But he did look lean and mean--just like Kaiet. They are going to make great siblings.

His was a sad story, but we hope to make it happier. He was abandoned by his mother who left him at a friend's house and then the friend took him to the orphanage. It seems the birth mother was unwed, and no one from his family has ever made contact with him since he's been in the orphanage. The only present he has ever received was ours. It seems he took to us as well. He is a quiet kid, but quick to smile and laugh. That's all we needed. We are both very happy right now. He will be a great addition to the family.

Our arrangements here are much more than we expected. The hotel is extravagant for here, and we have a great group of people here as well who are also adopting; we get together with them for dinner. A waiter comes up from the restaurant, we order from quite a large menu and then they serve us in Carol's room (the suite). That way the kids can run around. Carol is adopting 2 so she's waiting out the month. She has 3 bio kids, 2 from Ethiopia and 1 from Russia. Now 2 Kazak kids. Her family moved to Vermont from California. Mary Camille and Ron are just outside New York, they adopted this summer from another town and now are back for one more. They went with us today which made us lots more relaxed. Having friends here has made it so much easier.

It's cold, but a dry cold! It's not a problem. Today we went for our first walk around the neighborhood. Whoever coined the concept of 1st, 2nd and third world got it right. It is the second world here, but our hotel has us spoiled.

To speak on the phone, it's best of course that you call us. We believe it is a fourteen hour [California] difference, so if Kaiet can when he wakes up in the morning [between 8 & 10am your time] we'll be in our room after ten (we may be in Carol's suite before then). Also Kaiet could call at night from 6:00 on and we'll be in our room.   By 11:00 am we'll be out and about, walking around town (in the snow) and going to the orphanage.

Our translator Dinara is wonderful and pleasant. The orphanage was out of a story book. We went to the music room to meet with Aleks where there were 20 tiny little red chairs lined up, a piano, and a stereo. We got to see Aleks' group briefly. There were around 10 kids his age. All their little toothbrushes were lined up as were their mittens and their boots. Picture snow white and the seven dwarfs. Each group has a caretaker (actually about three, they take shifts). Tomorrow we'll ask about his sleeping and eating habits. The place is clean and old but very quaint with nice colors, light fixtures and curtains. When we left we saw two groups of kids out for a walk, all the size of Kaiet or smaller. (Aleks is 40 inches tall.) They seemed fascinated by our van. They were all bundlled up in winter coats scarves and hats. They looked so cute. I wish my Russian would progress faster but the words are complicated and hard to remember and forget the spelling.

Kaiet we really love you. Can us whenever you like.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Ama and Aita

We love you and wish you well.

Kaiet--Ama and Aita send big hugs and kisses. We will be a big and happy family soon.

Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 13:39:35 +0000

Hey so sorry the calls didn't work. We were wondering why we weren't hearing from our boy. We really want to talk to Kaiet so I hope it will work out. Our you sure you still have the exact number? Please call between 9-11 am your time (10-12pm here) or 6-10pm your time (7-11 am here). Or from 8-10 pm our time we're in room 2.

The visits to the orphanage have been going really well. Aleks ran in today and gave me a kiss on the cheek and sat in my lap. He loves to play and laugh and he's very curious. We played super balls, painted, ate bananas, played cards and piano, took pictures and played duck duck goose.

We filmed Aleks room today and everything is well organized and clean. The kids look like they have everything they need (except parents). Of course many of them have shaved heads (lice), no one is even a pound over weight, they have herpes around their mouths, and other various sores etc. They are extremely obedient so I do wonder about the discipline.

The director does seem like a very nice woman who is running a tight ship but not without love. When the kids go out (in below zero weather, though it does warm up when it snows) they are bundled up like esquimos. Inside it's always warm enough and the kids even wear shorts.

We really hope to to get a call soon Kaietxu. We really want to talk to your and hope you're feeling better. We love you bunches and bunches.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Ama and Aita

Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003

Hi,

Today was our fifth visit to the orphanage to see Aleksander. We seem to be getting along quite well. Today we spoke with his caretaker to find out some more details, and it seems that he is a sharp one, very capable and a bit mischievious so you need to keep an eye on him. Not in a bad way--he is very well behaved. It's good that he shows a keen interest in things so we'll work with it.

We have a farewell dinner right now for one of the families that has been great for us. We never expected this here. Having these folks around has made a world of difference. The day has settled into a nice routine actually. We wake up when we feel good and rested, since we don't leave until 2pm to the orphanage. Afterwards, we three families sit around together and chat. We quiz "Saint Carol" quite a bit since she has now adopted 5 children from three countries and has 3 teenaged boys. We order our dinner which is served in the room by marvelous waiters [one room has its own dining room table]. We read during our down time, and think and re-think things because here we have been given some extra time together to ponder some things. Today we all got together in our room for some pintxos (tuna and nuts from home, grapes, crackers, apples, wine and cheese). Not bad huh? We never dreamed we'd have such a selection of food. There are 3 restaurants in town and we still haven't tried one. Today we went to the deli and had lunch in our room and watched Kazak TV, some folk tunes on two stringed guitars.

We have some questions for Kaiet. Are you doing OK even though you miss us? Are you being brave? Are you playing nicely with your cousins and doing well in school? Are you counting off the days on the calendar with stickers? Are you trying some new foods with Maialen? We hope you are feeling 100% better. Has any one called since we've been gone?

We'll write again soon.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOX Ama and Aita

Sat, 22 Nov 2003 08:45:16 +0000

Hi,

We took a little walk around town today to see things, and found a beautiful Russian Orthodox chapel. It was filled with icons, and the burning offertory candles. We lit a few to say our prayers. We have been very blessed so far this trip. After the chapel, we went through an outdoor flea [there were none because it's too cold] market and picked up a couple toys for Aleksander. We also have picked up some stylin' Kazak fashions, so look out for our next dinner party. We have the whole ensemble for the family. Things [minus imported western items] are much cheaper here than the states. The hotel we are staying in is relatively expensive, but we're fine paying the $50 a night.

After that food is inexpensive: a fine lunch, for example, is only eight dollors for both of us. We'll see Aleksander again today for a couple of hours, but not tomorrow we were told. Instead, they are taking us on a sight-seeing trip. Then we have another week of visitation and then we hope for good news for an early court date to finalize the adoption. After the hearing, we will leave here [Kostanay] and return to the largest city in this country, Almaty, for a couple of days to finalize paperwork at the US embassy. We could even make it back before Dec. 7 but we have learned to take all of this with patience. After our return, it will be two weeks before John will return solo to pick up Aleksander. We'll see how things develop, but so far so good.

There is so much about the world that we do not know. This corner is really something. Most of the folks we have encountered seem very kind and open. They have known hardship, much more than most Americans and you can see this in the lines on their faces. It has been a humbling experience for us in that way.

Tomorrow we are going to try to attend Russian Orthodox services [if we hit the right time] so we'll be saying a prayer for you all from the far side of the world.

Maitasunez, agur t'erdi.

Sat, 22 Nov 2003

Hi,

We changed rooms, so if you are going to call us here at the hotel, please ask for room 2. It should be better now, because we will be in this room longer--it's the party room and our friends will be coming over. You know Jenny, the hostess with the most-ess.

California is 13 hours behind, while Boise is 12. We are in the room from usually 6pm until we go to bed about tenish, so that makes it 7am to 11am for Chino and 6 to 10am for Boise, and mornings for us are from 9 to 11am which makes it 8 to 10pm Chino, and 9 to 11pm Boise.

Today Aleskander was particularly chatty, and he started to learn his first words in English. It is going to be a challenge for us, but we are looking forward to it because he looks to be a good kids.

We are set to go out right now, for Saturday night in Kostanay. We're going out with a couple we met from New York. It helps having met some good folks around here. Then Wednesday night we're having two couples from Belgian over for dinner, then Thursday for Thanksgiving we are set to have dinner with ex-pats in the Peace Corps. All in all, things are good but of course we wish we could be home faster. Nevertheless, chin up and put on a heavy coat and we're ready for a night out on the town.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hello all,

Good to hear from you all. Ellie, I hope the turkey turned out well. Gilbert, Jenny was happy to learn that all was going well and got a kick out of hearing that substitute Bill shows up in the French outfit of beret and scarf. Denis & Nancy, thanks for taking Kaiet along with you for Thanksgiving--Jenny says "that's so sweet." Maite, I hope you enjoyed your day off and quiet time. Cathy, thanks for travel agency help.

We are down to our last two days of visiting Aleksander--today Friday and tomorrow. Monday morning is our court hearing, then Tuesday we'll leave here back to Almaty, the largest city in these parts for moe paperwork at the US embassy. It looks like we can return earlier, if we can just get our tickets changed. The flight here was quite full so I don't know if that will be possible. Therefore, after Tuesday morning our time, we will be out of this hotel.

Yesterday [Thursday] was a great day with the little guy, made moreso by the day before. Wednesday was the first time we had to try to discipline the

little guy; he was loving squeezing the water bottle to spray water but we

didn't think the folks there would appreciate wet spots so we tried to stop

Aleks. The kids are kept on a short leash at the orphanage, so you can see

that Aleks enjoys his time with us because it is break from the daily

routine. He is also experiencing some new found freedom, and as you know,

kids like to test boundaries. We'll I tried to draw a line, and he didn't

like it too much. Unable to really communicate, I held him and told him no

in Russian. Then the poor little guy started to cry, and he cried for quite

a while. We each held him close, but we really couldn't know what was going

through his mind. Was he upset about getting in trouble? Did he believe

that now his Momma and Papa [what he calls us] didn't like him anymore?

This all happened the last twenty minutes of the visit, so we left that day

troubled.

He came in tentative Thursday, but soon we established our best repoir [sp?]

yet. It was one of the best days, as just the three of us played and spoke

together. We also got him to dance a bit. He was smililng and laughing

again, and so were we. Incidentally, there was no problem any more with the

water bottle. I think he knows now that his Ama and Aita will still love

even if he makes mistakes.

So that was one thing that we were thankful for yesterday. A second was the

dinner we had out together with our new friends Ron and Mary Cam. We had a

marvelous time at a German restaurant in town. The food wasn't the

greatest, but the beer was and there was a live band playing tunes from the

Love Boat, so we danced the night away together. It is quite easy to bond

with people here in this context; you really are quite vulnerable because

this whole experience requires that you take a lot of risks.

But what really redefined Thanksgiving for us was meeting the new couple

from Miami and sharing with them their worst case scenario of adoption. The

boy they were hoping to adopt for six months--and the boy was looking

forward to it as well--came in yesterday and they soon discovered something

wrong. Unknown to them, he has a rare inherited skin disease, that can be

fatal especially in warmer climates. So how can they adopt this boy and

hope to live in Miami? It was really tough. The wife, Marlo, was in tears

most of the night, and Albert cried for the third time in his adult life.

We feel so bad for them. They had invested so much--emotionally,

financially, physically and psychologically--and because someone along the

line left out this information, both they and the little boy have made to

suffer.

The day before we left the orphanage troubled because of the spat with Aleks

thinking we had problems--in a moment we were given a bigger perspective.

There will be many challenges in the future raising our boys, and we'll try

to handle them as best we can. Yesterday, however, we were thankful that we

had not been tested as profoundly as Marlo and Albert. Aleks looks healthy

and robust; he'll be a good kid. Of course he will, because he has a great

extended family--all of you!

Thanks for being there for us. Much love

John & Jenny

Kaiet: ama and aita were happy to hear that you are doing well. We are

working hard to come back to you soon. Thanks for being a good and brave

boy. We love you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hi,

Today was a quick trip to see Aleks as we went with him to take passport

photos. He was mesmermized in the van; I don't think he has ever really

been out on his own that way. It was a quick trip because things didn't go

so well with the couple that we are paired with from Miami. As mentioned

earlier, they had quite a setback when they discovered that the boy they

wanted to adopt might have a fatal skin disease.

So we came back and went out to lunch with the couple, which is quite nice,

and then took them on a brief tour of the city that we know--the basics

which included a few restaurants and where to shop including the local

supermarket. It looks like they are thinking about turning around and going

back home; we'll see tomorrow.

Tomorrow is our last day, we believe [because everything here is on a need

to know basis] to see Aleks. We'll miss the friends that we have made here,

seeing Aleks, but we are anxious to get back home. Once home, it looks like

three plus weeks before we hear that I [John] can return to pick him up

[Jenny will stay because we don't want to leave Kaiet a second time and

hopefully the second trip will be quick].

Right now where having the gang over--Florida, California & New York--for

dinner again; the Belgians are in over their heads with day two of living

with toddlers.

Hi all,

We just wrapped up another wild Saturday night in Kostanay: we are home by

9pm. There's a good pizza place nearby and we [the three American couples]

went over there for dinner. Then on the way back we stopped by the local

version of the 7-11 market to store up for the cold. It has gotten much

colder the last two days. I think the highs are somewhere around 20

degrees, and at night we are below zero. But all is warm and cozy in our

hotel; having a comfortable place like this has made all the difference.

Yesterday we went to take our passport photos for Aleks, and we went into

one of the regular apartment buildings. It was pretty run down. Some of

the couples have spoken about how they stayed in places like this, so we got

lucky with the accommodations.

Found out today that we get an extra day tomorrow [Sun] to visit with

Aleksander.   The Miami couple that we are paired with are considering

adopting another child, so we're tagging along for the trip. Monday morning

is the court date, and if all goes well, from that moment on Aleks will

legally be our son even though we cannot leave with him.

International adoptions are tricky matters for many reasons. Apart from how

it impacts people who want to adopt, it is a political hot potato for the

locals. One of our friends spoke about a conversation she had, where a

local commented that we were stealing their future from them. Yes, from one

perspective that is correct because the children are our future. Then there

are urban legends making the rounds about Americans/Westerners coming here

for children to use their body parts. We have been advised not to go around

and publicize that we are here to adopt. It is a difficult thing for a

nation to confront the issue that their own people will not step up to adopt

their own children.

Then of course, another reality is that this is also a business. To a

degree, this is the buying and selling of children. You can see that profit

has motivated some here to get involved; a couple of the folks we have had

to work with reveals clearly that the good of the children doesn't weigh

heavy on their minds. Fortunately, however, they are the few. But again

this reflects the ongoing paradox of capitalism: the selfish profit motive

does get things done. We would not be here, nor would things be moving as

smoothly had not money helped to get the wheel moving. Seeing Aleks every

day, however, makes things worthwhile. Since we don't live in the best of

all worlds, we have to take the pluses and minuses. His quick smile makes

it all worthwhile.

We have been told that Aleks will go through some phases of adjustment. The

first will likely be the shock of leaving his world behind. Then we are

told to brace ourselves for his testing the boundaries phase--kids will want

to know if you are really there for them so some might put parents through

the ringer. Again, we'll do the best that we can. It's clear that he is

well behaved at the orphanage so we hope to build on that.

As Jenny noted, this will not be concluded until Aleks walks through our

front door; we are 90% sure that things will work out, but in this adoption

ordeal, we know that nothing is for sure and there can always be things that

come up. The latest, for example, is that it seems we can leave here early

now, but we can't get seats on an earlier flight.

Tomorrow, we hope to go back again to the Russian Orthodox church for the

Sunday service. As the locals do, we'll light a candle. That's all folks.

Have a nice weekend.

Hi all,

We just got back from court and seeing Aleks, and we have great news. As of

today, Aleks is our legal son and Kaiet has a brother!!

The hearing was straight forward, taking about twenty minutes. We must have

said, or our translator Dinara said, the right things. We are really

excited. Then an added bonus was seeing Aleks for an hour. He was just

happy to sit on our laps for the longest time. This should work out--he

really wants a mom and dad, we wanted another son. We're going out now with

our news friends to celebrate. So if you feel the urge, do a shot of vodka

today--we have a new relative!!

Stay tuned--more later.

PS Cathy--we have had no luck with tickets; any news from your end?

PPS Maite--the NABO calendar person is Marylou Urrutia. Lisa & Enrike

Corcostegui [numbers in our phone books] is a good place to find how to get

in touch. We need 100 for Chino [don't you think, and Southern Cal wants 50

according to Laurent.

PPPS Kaietxu, we hope you call us soon. We want to hear your voice. How

was the party? Did you play lots with Daniel? Do well in school today!

What letter and number are you working on? Did you go to the movies with

your cousin Bixente? We can't wait for the four of us to be together!!

Lots and lots of hugs and kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Ama and Aita

Hi all,

We have reached the end of part one; we are getting on a flight home

tonight. Today here in Almaty [the largest city in the country and the

international outlet] we wrapped up work at the US embassy [first time I've

ever been in one anywhere] and confirmed our flights. We'll be home three

days ahead of schedule which will give us time to again readjust our sleep

schedule: it took me three days to finally stop waking up at 4am.

Part II. Unfortunately, we had to leave Aleks but he is in very good hands

at the orphanage. We are hoping for a Christmas present, but I don't know

if the paperwork will be cleared in time. As soon as we receive word, I'll

be on a flight out to bring our new little guy home. Then part three will

begin--adjusting to life with Aleks and him adjusting to completely new

surroundings. Stay tuned, more updates will shortly be posted on the

ysursa.com website.

It has been quite an adventure, and now we are very ready to get back home.

This should be the last email coming to you from Almaty for part one. See

you all soon.

PS. You'll be able to find us at the nearest Mexican or Thai restaurant;

boy am I craving it right now.

PPS. Kaiet, we will see you at the airport in thirty hours!! We can't

wait! We have bunches of hugs and kisses for you.

PPPS. Ellie--nice touch sending news to Pilar; send away.

PPPPS. Eka--hope the tooth is fine, and that you are now a whiz at parallel

parking.

PPPPPS. Nancy--I'll be there for the Board meeting.

PPPPPPS. Maite--we owe you so much for taking care of our little guy, but I

bet the best payment you've received is from Kaiet himself because he is so

sweet. You are a great Amatxi.

PPPPPPPS. Gilbert--I'll get in touch Thursday to see if you think I should

come in on Friday, or just let the week finish out if you and Bill are on a

roll with something.

Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 13:37:43 +0000

>

>Hello all,

>

>First Kaiet. We love and miss you little guy. Hope that everything is

>going well there. We received the picture of the flower you sent. Thank

>you. There are no flowers here because there is snow everywhere. Glad to

>hear that you are feeling better after being sick. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

>

>It's great getting your emails back; the news is always welcomed.

>Things

>are good here in Kostanay. We have settled into a good routine, with the

>highlight being our visits to see Aleksander. Today we went by ourselves

>[without the other couple who today received their son] and it was fine

>with just the three of us in the large room. Aleks loved the bow and

>arrows we took to him. We still don't really communicate, but we manage

>with universal hand signals.

>

>Today is another cold day--10 below freezing [C]. The days are fine

>though

>when the sun is out. It really gets me how adaptable humans are. Despite

>the cold, people go along with their daily lives.

>

>History Lesson: The People. The Kazaks are the descendants of the

>Mongols

>who invaded back in the 10th century. Later another group that had adopted

>Islam moved north and that's when the locals accepted Islam. The largest

>recent influence remains Russian. We think Aleks is Russian. After the

>end of serfdom in 1861, about a million Russians moved here to have their

>own land. Then under the USSR this area was annexed in 1936. You can

>really see the Soviet influence all around, including remnants of murals

>and symbols. Nevertheless, there is quite an ethnic mix of people around

>here. That way, we pretty much fit in because it's hard to describe a

>typical Kazakstani.

>

>We have plenty of time to read our books, and honestly, it has been the

>most that Jenny and I have spoken together in years. It's good to find out

>that we still like each others company.

>

>That's the latest from the northern industrial town of Kostanay

>situated on

>the Tobol river adjacent to abundant iron ore reserves and a central city

>for the Soviet wheat growing experiment of the 1960s.

>

>Agur

>

Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 13:33:43 +0000

>

>Hi all,

>

>Today we had an opportunity to go into Aleksander's group of kids, the

>kids

>that he has been with for a while, and see how they interact and learn.

>Their teacher, Nina (in her 50's), does a first rate job. We peeked into

>their bedroom and little Aleks was already up in anticipation of our

>arrival. Seventeen beds were all lined up in two rows and the kids were

>down for their nap from 1-3. Aleks promptly dressed himself and scampered

>over to us. We watched for a bit, then went to a separate room with Aleks

>while the other kids got up and dressed. There sure were some cuties.

>They are all so well behaved, someone is doing something right. It's so

>easy to love kids when they are well behaved, smiling and curious.   There

>are toys, a play kitchen area, dolls, a TV, an aquarium, plants and plenty

>of light. The orphanage director is a good woman who smiles a lot and does

>her very best to make things work for everyone. Sometimes when our two

>hours are up with Aleks and it's time to go, we try to find his group. If

>we can't, we head to the director's office. Just seeing how comfortable

>Aleks is walking in there we know he has no fear of the "Principal's

>office."

>

>Aleks is a sharp kid it seems. He is quick to laugh, and he is getting

>to

>be more affectionate with us. We should be getting our court date for next

>week soon and we'll find out when we'll be heading home. We are happy to

>be in contact with home. It helps. Especially talking to Kaiet on the

>phone. Please call at least every day and a half. That sounds about right

>for now.   Off to a meeting with our coordinator. Love and kisses. Jenny

>and John

>

Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 06:27:08 +0000

>

>Hello to all,

>

>Since the day is just starting and nothing has happened yet, I thought

>I'd

>write about our hotel. [We are writing in detail because we want to save

>the e-mails (memories) for Aleks. We won't have much for him from before

>he was adopted so we are doing all we can to gather info and memories while

>we're here.]

>

>Though the hotel furniture etc. is mainly Wal-mart quality there are

>some

>very nice amenities. I have never had warm towel racks or warm bathroom

>tile (nice touch). Our suite has a jaccuzzi bath but the jets don't work.

>We have down pillows and comforters (very cozy) but the matress is Wal-mart

>quality. Our room has a small fridge where we keep fruit, water, beer,

>vodka, vogurt, juice, cheese, milk and chocolat. We have breakfast in our

>room because they don't seem to do breakfast here: not out anyway. The

>coffee is instant (bummer) but I found some nice cappacino packets to which

>I add instant espresso, sugar and milk and it's quite good. Our hotel has

>a pool and sauna (big in Russia) according to the pictures though we

>haven't seen them and since we never dreamed we'd need a bathing suit we

>may never see them. There is a billiard room and a dining room where they

>have had parties and all restaurants have a coat (hat, scarf, glove) check.

> The poor cleaning ladies are constantly mopping up floors since people

>drag in dirt and snow which quickly becomes mud.

>

>Tonight we (including Ron and Mary Cam) are having the two Belgian

>couples

>over for dinner (they get their toddlers tomorrow). We'll start with vodka

>shots and juice, nuts, olives, fois gras, caviar, crackers and salami.

>Then we'll have soup (instant) followed by roast chicken (just outside the

>mall), and from the deli carrots rapes, cabbage and noodles. Also we'll

>make a tomato salad with green onions and tuna. (we found a bottled salad

>dressing). Then we'll have cheese and fruit followed by a huge chocolat

>dessert cookie (better than the cakes which only look good) coffe, and

>liqueur. Jealous!

>In case you forgot our suite includes a dining room with a complete set of

>dishes for eight. It'll be tricky doing the dishes in the bathroom sink.

>PS. Mary Cam once ran her own gourmet catering company.

>

>Kaietxu, thanks for calling today. We're so happy to hear your voice.

>We

>don't know how we'll repay everyone for taking such good care of you. Lots

>of love and kisses.

>

>Ama and Aita

>

>PS. How's Eka? We haven't heard a peep from her. Tell her to test

>her

>english in an e-mail. I need to remind her that her driving test is set

>for Dec. 4th in Norco at 12:30 so if that date is once again a problem

>change the date: the sooner the better. The phone # is 1.800.777.0133 her

>ID # is D4843279. We may be home by then so things will be easier

>hopefully.

>

Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2003 16:27:22 +0000

>

>Today our lovely translator Dinara took us on a tour of the town with

>her

>friend who teaches English. We saw (from the van) the boarding school

>where 250 orphans live from age 6 to ?. That's where Aleks would have gone

>in just 1 1/2 years. We also saw the maternity hospital where he was

>probably born. Then there was the candy factory and the prison (crime rate

>is going down and we feel quite safe here.) We also went to Victory Park

>where there was a monument to the fallen soldiers of WWII and still a

>statue of Lenin. We also saw the "ruins": a textile factory that was

>operable during communist Russia but that is crumbling today. We also saw

>a wheat mill. (Huge business here as well as iron ore.)

>

>John and I also attended a Russian Orthodox service today in a large

>Chapel: the church is being built next door. The chapel is filled with

>icons, even on the ceiling, chandaliers, candles, insence (during mass) and

>church ladies who stay incredibly busy (even during services) cleaning up

>candle wax and dusting candle sticks. The service was sung entirely by the

>priest and a four woman choir. It was quite beautiful though limited to a

>few tunes (more like chanting) and though they seemed to sing awfully

>quickly, the service did last an hour. Instead of communion there was

>something similar to veneration of the cross and the priest annointed us

>with oil on our foreheads with a paintbrush.

>

>Today was the first day that we were actually cold walking around town.

>We

>were out for about 3 hours at the flea market and walking to church. We

>are very thankful that we brought our down coats, boots, gloves, hats,

>scarves and long underwear. Today was the first day that we really needed

>it. When we returned to the hotel our fingers and toes were frozen.

>Believe me the weather doesn't keep anyone indoors. They're always out and

>about (walking).   Dinara says it will start getting cold now (20 below).

>She also said, "When it snows it's really warm." Amazing huh!

>

>I realized yesterday that this place is the exact opposite of So Cal in

>every way. I don't mind the weather at all because it's so different for

>me. Since I'm bundled up, I love walking in the snow and watching kids

>being pulled along on a sleigh. The people are amazingly well-dressed.

>You must wear what I just described, but the women wear high-healed boots,

>tweed skirts, leather, mink or other furs, make-up, beautiful scarves and

>the men are wearing the tall Russian fur hats. All this despite the fact

>that just behind our hotel the homes have no running water. There's a pump

>out in front of the block. I wonder if the water freezes in the winter.

>Undoubtedly this town is better off that most others. In the country, the

>average monthly income is $100. Supposedly Ron and Mary Cam say that in

>the town they adopted from last time, the doctors were only earning

>$800-$1200 a year. There is a bit of begging and undoubtedly this weather

>has got to be worse on the poor than warm weather but overall people seem

>to be well-fed and clothed. Near the flea market people are selling their

>home-made and home-grown goods on the ground and soon all is covered in

>snow. Yesterday I fell in love with some very colorful little hand-knit

>booties made by an old woman and when we gave her a little extra for them

>we thought she was going to kiss us she was so over joyed. I'd like to put

>her in business so send me your orders. I know her stuff would sell in the

>states for a pretty penny. Speaking of which, does any one need warm,

>fur-lined boots or hat. The leather shoes come from Turkey and there's

>plenty of them at good prices.

>

>It sounds like things are going well at home. Thanks for taking such

>good

>care of Kaiet. I love the details. I can't say I miss home yet because

>things are so much better than expected but we do wish Kaiet were here

>sharing this incredible experience with us. Love and kisses to all

>(especially Kaiet) J & J

>

Jan. 20, 2004

Hi all,

Guess who is sitting next to me right now? Yes Aleks!

We both hit some glitches getting here, but we just woke up and had

breakfast and the little guy is is busy working on some art design. I cut

it close and almost missed my flight connection from Frankfurt to here,

Almaty, and Aleks' flight couldn't land the first time because of fog so it

tripled his flight time. I was told he slept most of it though, so that

worked out.

It's quite a deal being next to him again. He's saying something in Russian

and I'm just smiling and agreeing. Today we go for his medical checkup, and

then tomorrow is the US embassy day. So far, things are going well. Father

and son will have a few days of adventure here.

A pleasant surprise was as I got on the flight here to Almaty, there were

our two friends Marlo and Albert that we had met last month when we were in

Konstanay to adopt together. It makes it nicer to have some folks to pal

around with.

It's still, in a way, not real. This whole thing has been surreal. But

it's getting closer and I can't wait to take this guy home with me.

Hopefully, we'll catch some breaks and all will go well. Better go now,

because he is discovering the computer mouse so I'd better get on with

distracting tactics.

Love you!

Jan. 21, 2004

Hi,

We had a touch night--the little guy woke up and threw up. He slept after

that and now he's running around just fine so it looks like it's over. He

never had a fever so I guess it was the get sick quick/get well quick

syndrome. Now we're set for the embassy visit today.

Now the plusses: bonding, neat & chatty.

He's really taking to me it seems. Yesterday we walked around town and we

held hands, and now he's taken to wanting to have me pick up him. That's a

good and bad things I guess: he weighs 33 lbs. Then last night he got into

bed with me a couple times as he moved back and forth: so he knows he can

have us when he wants and he wants to!

He really wants to bond. When Nadia [Dinara had schoolwork and didn't make

the trip] went to pick him up in Rudny, she said he just flew out the door

and didn't say bye to anyone and never looked back. Our boy want us.

He's pretty neat with his things, and again that's a plus for us. Neatness

doesn't reflect on character, but he sure makes it easier for neat parents

to have a neat kid; especially after Kaiet.

He's more chatty than I thought. Not around others however, but when it's

he and I he goes into it and I just nod along. He's doing it right now.

He's full of stories that we'll come to understand soon.

That's the first minus: the language barrier. We could have used that last

night when he was hurting. The second is the sharing factor: like others

at the orphanage, sharing is not his strongest asset. Then finally, there's

the light switches. He's fascinated by turning them on and off.

Overall though, of course the plusses outweigh the minuses. He's been a

great guy so far. He's chatting it up again. We're off for lunch today to

the Rock Kafe with Margo and Albert. It's nice having them here, though

last night we cut out early because Aleks went to sleep at 7pm and woke up

at 9am [but in between were the two rough hours]. I can't wait to be back

home so that we can close this chapter once and for all--almost two years

and now it's time to open a new chapter at home in making a bigger and

better family.

It's tough getting online, so maybe this might be the last message before we

ship out. If you don't hear anything via phone or email, assume we'll be

coming in Wednesday around 1pm. It'll be the 21st--my Dad's birthday. On

that same day another Ysursa will make his entry into America.

Finally, how do single Mom's do it? Then again, how do you do it, because

you've carried the weight with Kaiet. Two hours now, and he hasn't thrown

up and he's kept breakfast down. I think we're out of the woods. Lots of

love coming your way soon.