Kazakstan symbols

FOR:  Prospective adopting parents of a Kazakstan child(ren) 

RE:  Post-adoption transition

Click here for our email recollections of the trip

Click here for photos from our trip to Kazakstan!

         

We definitely recommend adopting from Kazakstan.  Our trip to Kazakstan and our son Aleks are the best part of our adoption process.

The negatives were all in the US: working with Holy Family services (our incompetent social worker is no longer there), Los Angeles INS and actually Valerie could have been more helpful but we hope she too has learned more about the process.  The entire process took 23 months which was way too long but there was some restructuring at INS after 9-11 so that prolonged the wait. 

We found the orphanage at Rudny near Kostanay acceptable.  The director seemed to really care about the children and though they could use more medicine to care for the children the women did a good job of taking care of the children, interacting with them and keeping them active.  They are also very independent and unspoiled.  The directors make sure to tell us that we in turn shouldn’t spoil them.  I’m sure their discipline tactics are harsher than most of us would like, but still the children seem to adapt well here in America.

Our son Aleks adapted well, but at the same time he went through some interesting and trying stages; some of which were harder for my husband to handle.  Though he loves food there were many food issues.  He would sit at the table and refuse to eat.  I thought one reason could be that there they served food so hot.  He would down his drink first and then not be hungry. There they served the drink only after they finished their meal.  He wanted to go to the bathroom all the time.  There I’m convinced they had limited bathroom use.  At age 4 he had learned to bath himself, wipe himself, dress himself, pick up each toy after use, fold his clothes, brush his teeth, you get the picture.  Here of course he challenged us and wouldn’t pick up his toys or brush his teeth.  Anyway we went through these tough stages where we had to put our foot down and now he’s doing very well.  His latest stage is to say no to everything and to always want more and ask what’s next.  It sounds like he’s going through his terrible twos and that’s what it is.  He’s finding his place, testing, seeing what he can get away with and discovering the boundaries. 

Our first son who is two months older is thrilled with his brother.  They share everything, even a bed.  Sometimes they hold hands when they fall asleep because Aleks likes that security.  They enjoy all the same toys, love dressing up together, going to the park and doing all the things that boys love to do.  I think having Kaiet as an example has helped Aleks know how to be affectionate, interact and react and speak in the family.  His language skills have grown amazingly quickly.  He lost his Russian in 3 months but still mixes up he and she after 14 months. 

Overall having a family of four has been great.  It feels complete and more like a family.  We all have each other and around the dinner table or in bed on a Saturday morning it’s just great being a family.  Any of our friends or family will tell you that Aleks has fit in incredibly well.  They say he looks so happy (he does and is) and that you would never know that he’s adopted because he’s such a part of the community.

I like to say that I adopted the right child out of the orphanage because he loves to go out.  When he first arrived, even a trip to the grocery store excited him actually it still does.  He loves to go anywhere and everywhere and especially loves to go to friends’ homes or to have “parties”.  Please see the attached pictures because you'll see how many wonderful things we've done and enjoyed as a family and you'll see how happy we are together.  The best news is that after 14 months it seems that Aleks'  "no" stage or "I want the opposite of anything you suggest stage" seems to be coming to and end.  When I said, "We're having pizza for dinner."  He said, "Yeah, I love pizza!"  Instead of, "I'm not hungry or I don't like pizza."  When I very well know he is always ready to eat and loves to eat everything.